someone get that fucking seahorse.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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