I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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