areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
