google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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