Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
