youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
