I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We had sex on a dog bed..
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
