I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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