Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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