Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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