i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
