So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize