i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
