Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We talked him into tasing himself.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize