He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize