What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
they're like a gay fantastic four
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize