wanna go halves on a baby?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
