remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
