Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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