no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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