What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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