We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
