how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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