so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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