Your tits are I can't wait for
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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