Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
