I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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