Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
