How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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