I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Randomize
