dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
