I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
When did angry sex become our thing?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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