I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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