Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
