Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
