Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I think I sprained my soul last night
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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