I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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