I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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