i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
