Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
