What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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