Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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