Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
