Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
