you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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