Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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