What did we do last night that was yellow?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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