There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
