I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
