in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize