i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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