JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
