you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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