none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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