we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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