Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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