my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
