i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
