Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
