i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Damn victory sex feels great
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Success! We fucked roommates!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
