if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
pop tarts are not kleenex
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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