they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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