Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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