put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Barsexuality is the new black.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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