I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
