Cold hands, warm shart.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You pole danced in your parka.
Boobs are out for the taking
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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