If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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