Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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